Words to Digest: Cartoonist David Willis

     Recently I managed to secure an interview with David Willis, the cartoonist behind 'Roomies!',  'It's Walky!',  'Joyce and Walky!', which are all available Here, 'ShortPacked!', and most recently 'Dumbing of Age.' Although David is 'not a foodie,' what he has to say about food showcases the way food, food preparation, and diet are tied into the core of who we are and how we think. At least that's how I took it, but I'm a weird food obsessed kind of person. Let me know what you think.

The Columbus Digest-  "Your art style changed so drastically in the first four years of your comics career but has had a much slower and more subtle progression over the last four, do you feel like you're finally homing in on what works best for you? Congratulations on your newest comic making it's first anniversary by the way."

David Willis- "Thanks!  This one I actually just got asked about on my Tumblr. I don't know if I'm ever going to finally get to a point where I'm completely satisfied with my art.  I'm always finding newer and better
ways to do things and changing my mind on what I think are the best proportions for my characters.  (I think the heads are slowly shrinking again.)  Things changed a lot more in the early years because I'd just started out, I was 18, and while I did draw comics all the time back t hen, I'd never yet actually committed to drawing one a day for the rest of my life.  And so that lends to a lot of experimentation, a lot of rapid growth... it's like when you're first born, and you shoot up several feet in height in just a few years,
then you slow down as your body finds where it needs to be. Also, somewhere in the middle there I took some life drawing classes (at art school) and that fundamentally changed how I drew people.
Though I've never drawn particularly realistically, the adage that you have to know the rules before you can break them is very true."

C-Bus D.- "You, like me, are a transplant to Columbus, correct? Wikipedia is unclear as to your origin story, making you sort of a mysterious wanderer, maybe a Bard of some sort, telling many tales but not your own."

D.W.- "I was born in Indianapolis, Indiana, while my dad was still in dental school.  Somewhere around two years old, our family moved to La Porte, Indiana, where I stayed until I left for college.  I took a few
semesters at Indiana University in Bloomington before switching to the Illinois Institute of Art in Schaumburg.  After graduating there, I moved to Columbus, where I've been for... ....many years.  I like it
here.  Many Taco Bells.  And Fazoli's is a must.  They don't just have those anywhere."

C-Bus D.- "Have you visited many of Columbus' big attractions yet? COSI, TheColumbus Zoo, The Ohio Theater, or the absolutely bitchin' sweet main branch of The Columbus Public Library?"

D.W.- "I've been to all of those except the Public Library.  I've been to the Grandview Library, but I sort of lost interest in libraries once the Internet was invented.  The only reason I ever went to the one at
Indiana University is because they had a Chick-Fil-A in the basement."

C-Bus D.-"You claim to completely adhere to fast food places, why is that?"

D.W.- "It's cheap and I want to die.  Well, more precisely, it's cheap and I have incredibly particular tastes.  I can go to a fast food place and not ask them to take half of the food off of a $20 entree.  I'm also
boring and find repetition comfortable.  I find what I like and then stick with it until the end of time.  That's part of why I love Taco Bell.  There are like five ingredients in the entire menu, and I'll eat three of them.  And I can eat those three ingredients in a dozen different ways.  It's artificial variety."
(Speaking of artificial variety, it's mentioned in part of an episode of FourCast, featuring Cartoonist Zach Weiner)

C-Bus D.-"With your love of Fast Food have you heard of or tried, 'Dirty Franks Hot Dog Palace,' downtown? They have more than 40 different hot dogs on their menu, some of which are pretty sweet. Thy also have 'Tater-Totchos,' which are exactly what they sound like, Tater Tots smothered in Nacho toppings. My Fiance and I have only eaten there once, which is why we haven't reviewed it yet, but that once definitely convinced us to go back."

D.W.- "I have not heard of that place, no.  I did go to Wonderdaug a few times, which was a place on High Street in Clintonville that was run by a very friendly lady who was very excited to be running her own hot
dog place.  Unfortunately, my preferred hot dogs are pretty boring so I don't tend to eat them very much, so we didn't go there very often. Which is too bad, because it's totally my lack of patronage that it's
not there anymore."

C-Bus D.- "Do you do any home cooking at all?"

D.W.- "I have cooked a few Thanksgiving turkeys and once I made lasagna from scratch.  The latter was to prove to a girl that I could.  And I could, it turns out.  Normally when I'm home I make various kinds of
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (see the "artificial variety" mentioned above), Chef Boyardee, and plain old turkey sandwiches when I realize I've been eating too much of the Kraft and Boyardee recently.
I am basically seven years old."

C-Bus D.- "Of the few things you do make, what's your specialty? Will you share your recipe with us?"

D.W.- "Make a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese according to the box.  Add some salt."

C-Bus D.- "If a friend or family member is going to surprise you with your absolute favorite home cooked meal for some special event, what would that be?"

D.W.- "If we're sticking with home cooked, I guess steak and mashed potatoes. Probably some broccoli.  Broccoli's a vegetable I will eat. My problem is that I don't trust other people's cooking.  It's not
that it's ever bad, it's just that I have paranoia issues.  Going over to somebody else's place for a dinner they're making is a stressful thing.  I know I'm annoyingly picky and plus I don't know if there's going to be hidden stuff I don't like buried somewhere in there.  I'd rather just go to Burger King.  I've already learned that their burgers are all the same, I know I like them, plus I don't know the people there so I can ignore the creation of it, like it's toast coming out of a toaster, with the bread magically disappearing.  I don't want to know how the sausage is made.  If I know the people making the sausage, then I'll think about it, and that just makes things weird. There were fingers in there, touching."

C-Bus D.- "How would that steak be prepared? Some people would sooner commit seppuku than let you near their recipes and as much as we'd like to include any new tasty morsel on our site we'd rather not have any blood on our hands."

D.W.-"Uh, I guess you put the steak on our George Foreman Grill.  When it looks done, take it off.  Grab some A-1, because that's probably going to be pretty dry. Grab some Bob Evans garlic mashed potatoes from the grocery store. Those are pretty good.  Heat according to the instructions. Probably a frozen box of broccoli. Yeah, I'm not a foodie.

C-Bus D.- "Odds are when you were a child someone in your life did some baking, odds are that whenever possible you would snag a still warm something to munch on, (Children are all Sticky Fingered Nom Bandits, ruled by their hunger, a state that I have happily never outgrown,) what was the one treat
you would risk life and limb for?"

D.W.-"I guess chocolate chip cookies.  I will eat desserts. I hope we all learned a little something not only about my childlike food preferences, but also about some deep-rooted psychological issues
that are obviously involved."

     In closing, I have a really excellent Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe somewhere that I have to track down and send to David Willis now. It doesn't help that most of my (probably around 300) recipes are written on 3 inch by 4 inch pieces of paper scattered throughout all of my belongings. Also, 'D.W.' is what Launchpad McQuack called Darkwing Duck, just saying.
   

Pina Colada Chicken

     A refreshingly light and sweet dish, our Pina Colada Chicken is a great reminder that Spring is always right around the corner.

Here's what you'll need:
2 Pounds Chicken Breast (Cut lengthwise into strips)
2 Cup Flaked Coconut
1 Cup Pineapple Juice
1 Cup White Flour
2 Ounces Malibu Coconut Rum
2 Large Eggs
1 Teaspoon Salt
On the side:
1 Can of Crushed Pineapple

Here's What you'll do:

1. Combine Pineapple Juice,Salt, and Rum in a zip lock bag and mix well to make a marinade.
2. Add Chicken Strips to your Marinade making sure to squeeze all the air from the bag and refrigerate for 20-25 minutes. (Any longer and a chemical in the Pineapple Juice will cause the chicken to become tough.
3. In a large bowl combine the Coconut and Flour. In a separate bowl scramble the eggs.
4. Remove Chicken from marinade and thoroughly coat each piece in egg.
5. Place each piece separately into the Flour and Coconut mixture, cover each piece with a loose pile of the mix and press down firmly to adhere the breading to the chicken.
6. Fry over medium heat until both sides of each piece are golden brown and chicken has reached a core temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit.
7.  Serve with a side of Crushed Pineapple for dipping.

Harvest Time Corn Cake

     This is a pretty recent recipe for me, something I made a week back for a few friends when they were over to play Dungeons and Dragons. It's lightly sweet, filling, and a definite change of pace from the regular day to day sweets.

Here's what you'll need:

2 Cups Self Rising Corn Bread Mix
1 1/3 Cup Milk
2 Fresh Golden Delicious Apples
2 Fresh Peaches (Or try substituting Bartlett Pears)
1/2 a Stick of Butter
1/4 Cups of White Sugar
1/4 Cup Honey
1/4 Cup Vegetable Oil
1/4 Cup Spiced Rum
1 Large Egg
2 Tablespoons of Brown Sugar
2 Teaspoons of Cinnamon

Here's what you'll do:

1. Preheat your oven to 450degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Peel and slice the Apples and Peaches and place at the bottom of a deep pre-greased casserole dish. (Though I suppose you could dice them, if you were so inclined.)
3. Combine the  Butter, Honey, Rum, Brown Sugar, and Cinnamon in a medium sauce pan.
4. Bonus points: Add Pecans or Walnuts to the sauce, about 1/2 cup chopped ought to do it. 
5. Place over medium heat  stirring frequently until the sugar has completely dissolved.
6. Pour mixture into the casserole dish over the sliced fruit.
7. Combine all other ingredients in a large mixing bowl to form a batter. (If you're really careful you can probably use a medium bowl without making too much stuff slopping out, but you're basically just dumping stuff on the counter if you try to use a small bowl, which is alright if you just want to make a mess and not a cake.)
8. Pour into your prepared casserole dish.
9. Bake for 20-25 minutes.
10. Allow to cool for 10-15 minutes, then gently tip out onto a cutting board or plate.
11. Slice into 8 pieces and serve. Best served warm.(Or, if you're like me, 7 pieces, with one piece being roughly 1/4 of the cake, then save that piece for yourself, after all, you just did all that cooking and you deserve a reward.)

Mumbo Gumbo

     Ah Gumbo, a spicy Southern Treat that is the perfect pick me up to fight off those Winter is Coming Blues. This recipe was a huge hit at the last restaurant I worked at, far to the North near the shores of Lake Erie where the winters send snow drifts that blockade the doors of your home and winds that coat you in ice between your house and your mailbox. People used to clamor in bundled head to toe in 4 layers of clothing and 3 layers of ice and leave dripping sweat and steaming after a bowl of my Mumbo Gumbo.

Here's what you'll need:

2 Pounds Finely Chopped Onions

1 1/2 Pounds Cubed Chicken Breast 

1 1/2 Pounds Finely Chopped Tomatoes

1/2 Pound Peeled and Deveined Shrimp

1/2 Pound Spicy Ground Sausage

1 Cup water

3/4 Cup Franks Red Hot Sauce

1/8 Cup Yellow Mustard

2 Sliced Red Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Green Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Yellow Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Orange Bell Peppers

2 Tablespoons Butter

1 Tablespoon Blackened Red Fish Magic (Available in most Kroger spice aisles)

1 Tablespoon Garlic Powder

1 Tablespoon Onion Powder

1 Teaspoon Black Pepper

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1/2 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

1/4 Teaspoon Thyme

Here's What you'll do:

1. Combine all ingredients except Chicken, Sausage, Peppers, Butter, and Shrimp in a large stock pot .
2. Place over Medium heat and bring to a boil.
3. Immediately reduce heat to a low simmer.
4. Simmer for 3-4 hours stirring every few minutes, vegetables should have liquified.
5. If sauce has any chunks liquify in a Blender or Food Processor and return to heat.
6. In a medium frying pan combine the Butter, Sausage, Peppers, and Chicken Breast and cook until meat is nearly finished cooking.
7. Add Shrimp to frying pan, cook until Shrimp is completely cooked through. (Core Temperature of 145 Degrees Fahrenheit.)
8. Strain Contents of frying pan and add to sauce in stock pot.
9. Continue to simmer over low heat for 30 minutes.
10. Serve over Rice, Noodles, or even all by itself.

Ginger Crusted Chicken

     Fast, easy, and with a distinctive Oriental flair, this is a dish to impress friends, family, or co-workers with at your next function.

Here's what you'll need:
8 Chicken legs
8 Tablespoons Brown Sugar
2 Teaspoons Ginger
2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract
2 Teaspoons Sesame Seed Oil
2 Teaspoons Red Food Coloring (Is food coloring cheating? Maybe. But damn does it look nice.)
1 Teaspoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
1 Teaspoon Cardamom (yeah, this one is a bit expensive, but a little goes a long way, so that bottle should last a while)
1 Teaspoon Garlic Powder

Here's what you'll do:

1. Preheat Oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
2. Rinse Chicken legs with cold water, pat dry with paper towels, and place on a baking sheet.
3. Combine all other ingredients in a bowl or Food Processor, they should form a red paste of medium thickness.
4. Spoon mixture liberally over chicken legs, making sure they are evenly coated.
5. Place tray on the middle rack of the oven and bake for 45-60 minutes, until chicken reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees Farenheit.
6. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 3-5 minutes then serve.
7. At this point the chicken should be covered with a crisp red brown crust.

Wasabenero Sauce

     Indulgently sweet with a powerful spicy kick this sauce is great on anything from chicken fingers to vanilla ice cream.

Here's what you'll need:
1 Cup Corn Syrup (and 1/4 Cup reserved)
2 Ounces Minced Habenero Peppers (About 4 medium sized peppers.)
4 Tablespoons White Vinegar (And 1/4 cup reserved)
1 Tablespoon Ground Horseradish
1 Tablespoon S&B Prepared Wasabi(It's in a little green tube, available at Wal-Mart's Asian Foods section)
1/2 Teaspoon Flour
1/4 Teaspoon Cornstarch

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine Habero Peppers, and Vinegar in a small saucepan and bring to a boil.
2. Immediately add Horseradish and Wasabi and return to boil for 30 seconds.
3. Add Corn Syrup and reduce heat. Mix reserved Vinegar, Corn Syrup, Flour, and Cornstarch in a separate bowl to make a thickener.
4. Cook for 4 minutes, stirring constantly.
5.  Pour mixture into a Food Processor and run on Highest setting for 1 minute.
6. Add thickener and return to pan.
7. Heat mixture to a boil over Medium Heat, stirring constantly.
8. Remove from heat when mixture reaches the consistency of chocolate syrup and has a bright but transparent green color. 
9. Cool and serve as an accompaniment to, well, a whole lot of things, experiment and enjoy.

Black Pepper Cranberry Glaze

     Sweet, Tangy, and Spicy this glaze does for Chicken and Turkey what our Burgundy Black Pepper Glaze does for Beef, adds many more layers of subtle flavor simply and effectively.

Here's what you'll need:
2 Cups of Cranberry Juice (1 Reserved)
3/4 Cup White Sugar
2 Tablespoons Cornstarch
2 Teaspoons of Black Pepper
1/2 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine 1 Cup Cranberry Juice, Sugar, Black Pepper, and Cayenne Pepper in a Medium Saucepan and whisk together well.
2. Place over medium heat an bring to a boil, stirring frequently.
3. In a bowl, combine reserved Cranberry Juice and Cornstarch to make a thickener.
4. Slowly stir thickener into pot and whisk constantly until mixture reaches the thickness of pancake syrup.
5. Brush onto Chicken or Turkey.
6. Use immediately as it doesn't refrigerate well.

Burgundy Black Pepper Glaze

     Rich, savory, and just slightly spicy, this is the perfect accompaniment to any steak or roast, adding a surprising depth of flavor.

Here's what you'll need:
1/2 Cup of Burgundy
1/2 Cup of Water
1 Tablespoon of Beef Base (Bullion works almost as well)
1 Tablespoon Corn Starch
1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
1 Teaspoon Garlic Powder

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine all ingredients in a Medium Saucepan and whisk together thoroughly.
2. Place over medium heat until sauce thickens to the consistency of pancake syrup.
3. Remove from heat and brush lightly over meat, just a little goes a long way.
4. Use sauce immediately as it doesn't refrigerate well.

     If Chicken or Turkey are more your thing, try our BlackPepper Cranberry Glaze.

Unstable Element Sauce

     Only make this sauce in a well ventilated area, wear protective eye-wear, and strongly consider the use of a gas mask or other respiratory filter while making it. I'm not joking.

Here's what you'll need:
3 Cups Franks Red Hot Sauce
1 Cup White Vinegar
1 Cup Pickled Jalapeno Peppers with Juice (Minced)
10 Small Habenero Peppers (Minced)
5 Red Chili Peppers (Minced)
5 Green Chili Peppers (Minced)
2 Tablespoons Cayenne Pepper
4 Teaspoons Black Pepper
2 Teaspoons Ancho Chili Powder
2 Teaspoon Cinnamon

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine the Franks Red Hot Sauce, Vinegar, and minced Peppers in a Medium Saucepan over medium heat and boil until the Peppers are soft.
2. Pour mixture into food processor or blender and run on highest setting for 1-3 minutes, until it reaches a smooth consistency. (Wash Blender of Foodprocessor immediately!)
3. Return mixture to saucepan and add all spices.
4. Return to a boil stirring occasionally for 8-10 minutes.
5. Remove pan from heat and allow sauce to cool before placing in a glass or plastic container, not metal, seriously, this sauce will slowly corrode the metal and start tasting funky. Keep sauce refrigerated, and away from children and pets.
6. Enjoy on Chicken Wings, Burgers, Pork Chops, or anything (if you're a masochist.)
7. If you like pickled eggs try dropping 12 Hard Boiled Eggs into this sauce and allow to set for between 1 week and 3 months, after eating these eggs may be another good time to consider having a gas mask handy.

Blazing Black Bean Burger

     Topped with a spicy Black Bean Chili, this burger is hot enough to be a  treat for the carnival Fire Eater in your family.

Here's What you'll need:
1 Can Black Beans
1/2 Cup Chopped Pickled Jalapeno Peppers
3 Minced Habenero Peppers
2 1/2 Teaspoons Chili Powder (I usually use Chipotle Chili Powder for it's rich smokey flavor)
1 1/2 Teaspoons Garlic Powder
1 Teaspoon Onion Powder
1 Teaspoon Fresh Garlic
8 Slices of Pepper Jack Cheese
4 Thick Juicy Burgers prepared the way you like them

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine all ingredients except burgers and cheese in a small sauce pan and heat over medium stirring frequently until contents reach a boil.
2. Reduce heat and simmer for five minutes, stirring frequently. 
3. Remove from heat and heap onto burgers, top each burger with two thick slices of Pepper Jack and allow cheese to melt over chili to hold it in place.
4. Top with your favorite burger toppings and enjoy.

Garden Chicken Bruschetta

     Light, healthy, simple and flavorful, Bruschetta is a classic Italian anti-pasto that has more than earned it's place here and abroad.

Here's what you'll need:
4 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
1/4 pound Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
1 Large Diced Tomato (Approximately 1/2 pound)
1 Diced Green Bell Pepper
1 Small Diced Onion
4 Tablespoons Olive Oil
2 Tablespoons Basil
1 Tablespoon Minced Garlic (Preferably fresh)
2 Teaspoons Lemon Juice
1/2 Teaspoon Salt

Here's what you'll do:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit 
2. Bake Chicken for 45 minutes on a cookie sheet(or until an internal temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit is reached)
3. While Chicken cooks mix all other ingredients except Mozzarella to make your Bruschetta Topping and allow to rest until chicken is finished cooking.
4. Remove chicken from oven and split the Bruschetta Topping evenly over all four pieces, top with Mozzarella, and return to oven until cheese is melted .(This usually takes less than a minute.)
5. Enjoy.

Day after the Cook-out Corn and Chicken Chowder

     Perfect Autumn food,this chowder is rich, creamy, and uses up some of those delicious left-overs from yesterdays Cook-Out. Or if nothing was left after friends, family, and neighbors poking their head over the fence finished off every last morsel, it can be made up from scratch.

Here's what you'll need:
5 cups of Corn (Cut off a Cook-Out Cob or from a can)
4 Cups Diced Cooked Chicken Breast (Covered in grill lines, or straight out of the frying pan or oven)
4 Cups Cold Diced Baked Potatoes (Make sure they've cooled or they'll smash instead of slice)
1 Quart Heavy Cream
1 Cup Cold Water
2 Tablespoons of Black Pepper
2 Tablespoons of Flour
2 Tablespoons of Cornstarch
1 1/2 Tablespoons of Chicken Base

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine the Cold Water, Flour, and Cornstarch in a small bowl with a whisk.
2. Combine all other ingredients in a large pot and mix thoroughly.
3. Place over a medium heat and bring to a boil, stirring frequently.
4. Add Water, Flour, Cornstarch, mixture stirring constantly until thickened.
5. Enjoy.
6. This recipe makes approximately 18 cups of very rich chowder, you may want to invite some friends over.

Restaurant Review- Lotus Leaf

     The Lotus Leaf is a small family owned restaurant located in an unassuming storefront at 1595 Georgesville Square Drive Columbus Ohio 43228. It's decor is simple, more reminiscent of a miniature hospital cafeteria than the sometimes over the top flair of many eat in Asian Restaurants, but it's staff is prompt and courteous, it's menu is an almost eccentric blend of Vietnamese, Chinese, Thai, and in one instance even French styles.  And it is quite a menu, sporting a hefty fifty six items, quite a lot to work through in the interest of trying it all. I've so far managed to make my way through six dishes, in addition to sampling off the plates of friends and I've seen enough to know it's worth the trouble to make my way through the other fifty. Their dishes are alive with subtle layers of flavor with EVERYTHING (or so the server says, and I have no reason to doubt,) produced fresh and in house. Their prices would be considered middle of the road for local Asian Cuisine, except that their portion sizes are massive to the point  where I usually have to take about half home for a second meal, all in all making their prices exceptional for the quantity.

Final Ranking
A- (I'm not a huge stickler for atmosphere, I don't even mind the cafeteria-like setting, but the Lime Green, Yellow, and Red color scheme is far more than a little eye gouging and I have to dock them a few points for that...)


Picture courtesy of: Columbus Pho Search

Black as Midnight BBQ Sauce

     Smokey, Sweet, Tangy, and Spicy, those are the watchwords we live by at The Columbus Digest when it comes to making a good Barbeque Sauce. But not everyone has the leisure of casual Sunday cook-outs in the park. People in Columbus are busy, and sometimes a cook-out goes down at the same time as the sun. When the last rays are slipping behind the horizon and your friends are on the way after a long day at work you need a Barbeque Sauce with a built in pick me up, and so we present our 'Black as Midnight BBQ Sauce'.

What You'll need:

4 Pounds of Ketchup
1 1/2 Cups of Coffee Grounds
1 1/2 Cups Blackstrap Molasses
1 Cup White Vinegar
1/2 Cup Buckwheat Honey
1/2 Cup Mustard
3 Tablespoons Garlic Powder
2 Tablespoons Onion Powder
2 Tablespoons Liquid Mesquite Smoke
2 Tablespoons Orange Zest (Available in most grocery stores in the spice aisle as Valencia Orange Peel)
1 1/2 Tablespoons Ancho Chili Powder
1 Tablespoon Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa Powder
1/2 Tablespoon Chipotle Chili Pepper
1/2 Tablespoon Black Pepper
1 Teaspoon White Pepper
1 Teaspoon Mustard Powder

What You'll do:

1. In a normal coffee pot brew 6 Cups of Coffee with the 1 1/2 cups of grounds (We used Folgers French Roast, but feel free to use your favorite.)
2. Pour the fresh brewed Coffee into a medium sauce pan and heat on medium until it has reduced to 1 Fluid Cup of VERY VERY strong Coffee and pour into a large pot.
3. Combine all of your liquid ingredients in the large pan and place over medium heat until boiling stirring frequently.
4. Reduce heat to simmer. Meanwhile combine all of your dry spices in a bowl and whisk together before thoroughly mixing into your liquid mixture.
5. Stir frequently for 30-45 minutes or until the sauce reaches your desired thickness. (We used this time to watch an episode of 'No Reservations' on Netflix.)
6. Remove from heat and allow to stand until cooled to room temperature before pouring into airtight plastic bottles. (Kroger's at Georgesville Square had nice 4 Cup screw on lid containers on sale right next to their aluminum foil.) Makes approximately 11 Cups of sauce.
7. Before I receive any complaints, or worse yet someone thinks they made the sauce wrong, it is actually a very deep red, not black. The name is a reference to the intensely strong coffee used in the sauce.

Face Plant Parmesan

      So delicious you'll want to dive right in, this Eggplant Parmesan recipe is a real crowd pleaser with it's robust flavors and delicately contrasting textures. It's also a real Chef pleaser with only 30 minutes between plant and plate.

Here's what you'll need:
For the breaded Eggplant;
1 or more Eggplants
1/2 Cup Flour
1/4 Cup Cornstarch
2 Tablespoons Italian Seasoning
2 Tablespoons Garlic Powder
1 Tablespoon Coarse Kosher Salt

For the egg wash;
3 Large Eggs
1/4 Cup Milk

To finish it off;
Any amount of Fresh Mozzarella that pleases you
Your favorite Marinara sauce

Here's what you do:

1. Preheat Oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit. 
2. Slice the Eggplant lengthwise into thick sheets.
3. Combine all of your dry ingredients in a zip seal bag. Combine the Eggs and Milk in a separate container large enough in which to lay the Eggplant slices.
4. Dip each piece of Eggplant in the Egg Wash then shake in the bag of breading.
5. Fry breaded slices lightly on each side to brown them.
6. Place browned slices on a large baking sheet and bake for 8 minutes or until fully softened inside with a crispy breading shell outside.
7. Top each slice with a drizzle of Marinara and heap with Fresh Mozzarella Cheese, then return to oven for 3 minutes, or until cheese is fully melted.
8. Plate as is or over pasta.

Tso Simple Chicken

     General Tso's Chicken, while known for it's delicious sauce, is nothing without the tender, juicy, crispy chicken that holds it all together.

Here's what you'll need:
2 Pounds Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast
3 Eggs
1/2 Cup Cornstarch
2 Tablespoons Ground Ginger
2 Tablespoons Garlic Powder

Here's what you do:

1. Whisk together the Ginger, Garlic, and Cornstarch.
2. Add the 3 Eggs and whisk together until well combined to make a batter.
3. Cut the Chicken into bite sized pieces (Scissors work great for this)
4. Coat the pieces evenly with the batter and deep fry in your favorite oil until the chicken reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit.
5.  Cover with Better than So-So Tso's Sauce and enjoy.

Better than So-So Tso's Sauce

Better than So-So Tso's Sauce

Pictured with our creepy Oreo Panda Cookie jar.

     Ah, General Tso's, the quintessential 'Chinese,' food. sweet, tangy, and most of all spicy.But what makes the dish so appealing? What draws people to it no matter what region of the United States they inhabit? Why, the sauce obviously, that rich, red concoction that leaves our mouths watering and our foreheads dripping spice induced sweat.
     It has an 'exotic' flavor that makes sure few home cooks feel up to the task of making it, when in reality it is extremely simple and is a sauce with staying power, lasting up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator and 2 months in the freezer so you can make it on a day off and enjoy it on even the busiest work day.

Here's what you'll need:
1 1/2 Cups Brown Sugar
1/2 Cup White Vinegar
1/2 Cup Rice Vinegar
1/2 Cup Cooking Sherry
1/2 Cup Low Sodium Soy Sauce
3/4 Cup Soy Sauce (1/4 cups reserved)
1/4 Cup White Sugar
2 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil
12 Dried Arbol Chili Peppers
2 Tablespoons Fresh Ground Ginger (Powdered Ginger is almost as good)
2 Tablespoons Cornstarch
1 Tablespoon Garlic Powder
1 Tablespoon Sesame Seed Oil
1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
1 Teaspoon Red Pepper
1 Teaspoon White Pepper
1/2 Teaspoon Cardamom

Here's what you do:

1. Mix Rice Vinegar, White Vinegar, Cooking Sherry, Soy Sauce, Low-Sodium Soy Sauce, Vegetable Oil, Sesame Oil, and Chili Peppers in a medium sauce pan and simmer over low heat for 5 minutes.
2. Add all spices, Brown Sugar, and White Sugar and stir until the sugars are fully dissolved.
3. Whisk together the 1/4 Cup Soy Sauce you had reserved and Cornstarch and whisk into to the sauce pan until the mixture reaches the consistency of thin pancake syrup.
4. Enjoy over Tso Simple Chicken, Chicken Patty Sandwhiches, Ramen Noodles, White Rice or anything you like.   Makes approximately 5 cups of sauce. 

Tso Simple Chicken

And now for...

MAD SCIENCE OR BAD SCIENCE with Bob and Ross

Today's Experiment Better Than So-So Cocoa Tso's

Ross-"Careful Bob, that's 3 Tablespoons of pure undiluted Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa Powder."
Bob-" There is no time for caution Ross, what we do, we do.... FOR SCIENCE!"
Ross quickly stirs the seething mass of fluid, then as it subsides both of our daring scientists throw caution to the wind and use themselves as Guinea Pigs, sampling the mixture.

Ross- "Test tubes and testosterone Bob, give me that and a beer and an hour alone!"
Bob- "Hmm... the cocoa seems to tone down the sweetness of the sauce, it brings out the spice but almost seems to make less biting, more of a slow burn like the passion of a good lover. Oh my yes, I think we'll have to file this one away under MAD SCIENCE!"