Restaurant Review: Tai's Asian Bistro

    So, it's finally happened. I got sick somewhere, like, I went to the Half Price Books about thirty seconds down the street and within five minutes I was setting up a colony in their restroom. It ruined my night, and despite beautiful presentation, the food wasn't that good to begin with, it was probably a 7/10.

Final Ranking: F- (Sorry Tai, but I can't let food born illness slide.)

Ginger Crusted Chicken

     Fast, easy, and with a distinctive Oriental flair, this is a dish to impress friends, family, or co-workers with at your next function.

Here's what you'll need:
8 Chicken legs
8 Tablespoons Brown Sugar
2 Teaspoons Ginger
2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract
2 Teaspoons Sesame Seed Oil
2 Teaspoons Red Food Coloring (Is food coloring cheating? Maybe. But damn does it look nice.)
1 Teaspoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
1 Teaspoon Cardamom (yeah, this one is a bit expensive, but a little goes a long way, so that bottle should last a while)
1 Teaspoon Garlic Powder

Here's what you'll do:

1. Preheat Oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
2. Rinse Chicken legs with cold water, pat dry with paper towels, and place on a baking sheet.
3. Combine all other ingredients in a bowl or Food Processor, they should form a red paste of medium thickness.
4. Spoon mixture liberally over chicken legs, making sure they are evenly coated.
5. Place tray on the middle rack of the oven and bake for 45-60 minutes, until chicken reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees Farenheit.
6. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 3-5 minutes then serve.
7. At this point the chicken should be covered with a crisp red brown crust.

Restaurant Review- Lotus Leaf

     The Lotus Leaf is a small family owned restaurant located in an unassuming storefront at 1595 Georgesville Square Drive Columbus Ohio 43228. It's decor is simple, more reminiscent of a miniature hospital cafeteria than the sometimes over the top flair of many eat in Asian Restaurants, but it's staff is prompt and courteous, it's menu is an almost eccentric blend of Vietnamese, Chinese, Thai, and in one instance even French styles.  And it is quite a menu, sporting a hefty fifty six items, quite a lot to work through in the interest of trying it all. I've so far managed to make my way through six dishes, in addition to sampling off the plates of friends and I've seen enough to know it's worth the trouble to make my way through the other fifty. Their dishes are alive with subtle layers of flavor with EVERYTHING (or so the server says, and I have no reason to doubt,) produced fresh and in house. Their prices would be considered middle of the road for local Asian Cuisine, except that their portion sizes are massive to the point  where I usually have to take about half home for a second meal, all in all making their prices exceptional for the quantity.

Final Ranking
A- (I'm not a huge stickler for atmosphere, I don't even mind the cafeteria-like setting, but the Lime Green, Yellow, and Red color scheme is far more than a little eye gouging and I have to dock them a few points for that...)


Picture courtesy of: Columbus Pho Search

Tso Simple Chicken

     General Tso's Chicken, while known for it's delicious sauce, is nothing without the tender, juicy, crispy chicken that holds it all together.

Here's what you'll need:
2 Pounds Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast
3 Eggs
1/2 Cup Cornstarch
2 Tablespoons Ground Ginger
2 Tablespoons Garlic Powder

Here's what you do:

1. Whisk together the Ginger, Garlic, and Cornstarch.
2. Add the 3 Eggs and whisk together until well combined to make a batter.
3. Cut the Chicken into bite sized pieces (Scissors work great for this)
4. Coat the pieces evenly with the batter and deep fry in your favorite oil until the chicken reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit.
5.  Cover with Better than So-So Tso's Sauce and enjoy.

Better than So-So Tso's Sauce

Better than So-So Tso's Sauce

Pictured with our creepy Oreo Panda Cookie jar.

     Ah, General Tso's, the quintessential 'Chinese,' food. sweet, tangy, and most of all spicy.But what makes the dish so appealing? What draws people to it no matter what region of the United States they inhabit? Why, the sauce obviously, that rich, red concoction that leaves our mouths watering and our foreheads dripping spice induced sweat.
     It has an 'exotic' flavor that makes sure few home cooks feel up to the task of making it, when in reality it is extremely simple and is a sauce with staying power, lasting up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator and 2 months in the freezer so you can make it on a day off and enjoy it on even the busiest work day.

Here's what you'll need:
1 1/2 Cups Brown Sugar
1/2 Cup White Vinegar
1/2 Cup Rice Vinegar
1/2 Cup Cooking Sherry
1/2 Cup Low Sodium Soy Sauce
3/4 Cup Soy Sauce (1/4 cups reserved)
1/4 Cup White Sugar
2 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil
12 Dried Arbol Chili Peppers
2 Tablespoons Fresh Ground Ginger (Powdered Ginger is almost as good)
2 Tablespoons Cornstarch
1 Tablespoon Garlic Powder
1 Tablespoon Sesame Seed Oil
1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
1 Teaspoon Red Pepper
1 Teaspoon White Pepper
1/2 Teaspoon Cardamom

Here's what you do:

1. Mix Rice Vinegar, White Vinegar, Cooking Sherry, Soy Sauce, Low-Sodium Soy Sauce, Vegetable Oil, Sesame Oil, and Chili Peppers in a medium sauce pan and simmer over low heat for 5 minutes.
2. Add all spices, Brown Sugar, and White Sugar and stir until the sugars are fully dissolved.
3. Whisk together the 1/4 Cup Soy Sauce you had reserved and Cornstarch and whisk into to the sauce pan until the mixture reaches the consistency of thin pancake syrup.
4. Enjoy over Tso Simple Chicken, Chicken Patty Sandwhiches, Ramen Noodles, White Rice or anything you like.   Makes approximately 5 cups of sauce. 

Tso Simple Chicken

And now for...

MAD SCIENCE OR BAD SCIENCE with Bob and Ross

Today's Experiment Better Than So-So Cocoa Tso's

Ross-"Careful Bob, that's 3 Tablespoons of pure undiluted Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa Powder."
Bob-" There is no time for caution Ross, what we do, we do.... FOR SCIENCE!"
Ross quickly stirs the seething mass of fluid, then as it subsides both of our daring scientists throw caution to the wind and use themselves as Guinea Pigs, sampling the mixture.

Ross- "Test tubes and testosterone Bob, give me that and a beer and an hour alone!"
Bob- "Hmm... the cocoa seems to tone down the sweetness of the sauce, it brings out the spice but almost seems to make less biting, more of a slow burn like the passion of a good lover. Oh my yes, I think we'll have to file this one away under MAD SCIENCE!"