Mumbo Gumbo

     Ah Gumbo, a spicy Southern Treat that is the perfect pick me up to fight off those Winter is Coming Blues. This recipe was a huge hit at the last restaurant I worked at, far to the North near the shores of Lake Erie where the winters send snow drifts that blockade the doors of your home and winds that coat you in ice between your house and your mailbox. People used to clamor in bundled head to toe in 4 layers of clothing and 3 layers of ice and leave dripping sweat and steaming after a bowl of my Mumbo Gumbo.

Here's what you'll need:

2 Pounds Finely Chopped Onions

1 1/2 Pounds Cubed Chicken Breast 

1 1/2 Pounds Finely Chopped Tomatoes

1/2 Pound Peeled and Deveined Shrimp

1/2 Pound Spicy Ground Sausage

1 Cup water

3/4 Cup Franks Red Hot Sauce

1/8 Cup Yellow Mustard

2 Sliced Red Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Green Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Yellow Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Orange Bell Peppers

2 Tablespoons Butter

1 Tablespoon Blackened Red Fish Magic (Available in most Kroger spice aisles)

1 Tablespoon Garlic Powder

1 Tablespoon Onion Powder

1 Teaspoon Black Pepper

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1/2 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

1/4 Teaspoon Thyme

Here's What you'll do:

1. Combine all ingredients except Chicken, Sausage, Peppers, Butter, and Shrimp in a large stock pot .
2. Place over Medium heat and bring to a boil.
3. Immediately reduce heat to a low simmer.
4. Simmer for 3-4 hours stirring every few minutes, vegetables should have liquified.
5. If sauce has any chunks liquify in a Blender or Food Processor and return to heat.
6. In a medium frying pan combine the Butter, Sausage, Peppers, and Chicken Breast and cook until meat is nearly finished cooking.
7. Add Shrimp to frying pan, cook until Shrimp is completely cooked through. (Core Temperature of 145 Degrees Fahrenheit.)
8. Strain Contents of frying pan and add to sauce in stock pot.
9. Continue to simmer over low heat for 30 minutes.
10. Serve over Rice, Noodles, or even all by itself.

Unstable Element Sauce

     Only make this sauce in a well ventilated area, wear protective eye-wear, and strongly consider the use of a gas mask or other respiratory filter while making it. I'm not joking.

Here's what you'll need:
3 Cups Franks Red Hot Sauce
1 Cup White Vinegar
1 Cup Pickled Jalapeno Peppers with Juice (Minced)
10 Small Habenero Peppers (Minced)
5 Red Chili Peppers (Minced)
5 Green Chili Peppers (Minced)
2 Tablespoons Cayenne Pepper
4 Teaspoons Black Pepper
2 Teaspoons Ancho Chili Powder
2 Teaspoon Cinnamon

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine the Franks Red Hot Sauce, Vinegar, and minced Peppers in a Medium Saucepan over medium heat and boil until the Peppers are soft.
2. Pour mixture into food processor or blender and run on highest setting for 1-3 minutes, until it reaches a smooth consistency. (Wash Blender of Foodprocessor immediately!)
3. Return mixture to saucepan and add all spices.
4. Return to a boil stirring occasionally for 8-10 minutes.
5. Remove pan from heat and allow sauce to cool before placing in a glass or plastic container, not metal, seriously, this sauce will slowly corrode the metal and start tasting funky. Keep sauce refrigerated, and away from children and pets.
6. Enjoy on Chicken Wings, Burgers, Pork Chops, or anything (if you're a masochist.)
7. If you like pickled eggs try dropping 12 Hard Boiled Eggs into this sauce and allow to set for between 1 week and 3 months, after eating these eggs may be another good time to consider having a gas mask handy.