Berry Blast Cheesecake (No-Bake Recipe)

     There are two kinds of cheesecake, excellent, and even more excellent. A plain cheesecake, whether baked, or no-bake is an indulgent delight, melting on the tongue and sending your spirit soaring like a bird on wing. This recipe takes those hall mark traits and adds the subtle joy of a summer day spent berry picking, so, you know, Fuck Yeah!

Here's What You'll Need: For the Berry Sauce
1/2 Cup Raspberries
1/4 Cup Blackberries
2 Tablespoons Blackberry Preserves
2 Tablespoons Powdered Sugar
2 Tablespoons Cornstarch

Here's What You'll Do: For the Berry Sauce

1. Put everything in a blender or food processor
2. Blend on high until smooth and glossy

Here's What You'll Need: For the Cheesecake
16 Ounces of Cream Cheese (At Room Temperature)
8 Ounces of Cool Whip
1 Cup Powdered Sugar
3/4 Cup Corn Starch
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

Here's What You'll Do: For the Cheesecake
1. Combine all of your wet ingredients on a large bowl and mix until smooth and creamy. (I recommend a mixer for this, but you're free to develop Carpal Tunnel if that's what you're into...)
2. Slowly add your dry ingredients until the mixture reaches a thick enough consistency that when you pull the beaters out it forms stiff peaks, like tasty little mountain ranges.
3. Pour half of your Berry Sauce into the mixture and gently fold in until it is mostly combined but still has the occasional swirl.
4.Using a spatula  transfer the mixture into a Graham Cracker or Cookie Crust and cover with plastic wrap.
5. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to allow mixture to set.
6. Slice.
7. Drizzle each slice with a little of the remaining Berry Sauce, possibly garnishing with left over Berries or shiny foil wrapped candies that provide color contrast for the pictures you will randomly be taking.
8. Enjoy... like I have to tell you to enjoy Cheesecake...

Mumbo Gumbo

     Ah Gumbo, a spicy Southern Treat that is the perfect pick me up to fight off those Winter is Coming Blues. This recipe was a huge hit at the last restaurant I worked at, far to the North near the shores of Lake Erie where the winters send snow drifts that blockade the doors of your home and winds that coat you in ice between your house and your mailbox. People used to clamor in bundled head to toe in 4 layers of clothing and 3 layers of ice and leave dripping sweat and steaming after a bowl of my Mumbo Gumbo.

Here's what you'll need:

2 Pounds Finely Chopped Onions

1 1/2 Pounds Cubed Chicken Breast 

1 1/2 Pounds Finely Chopped Tomatoes

1/2 Pound Peeled and Deveined Shrimp

1/2 Pound Spicy Ground Sausage

1 Cup water

3/4 Cup Franks Red Hot Sauce

1/8 Cup Yellow Mustard

2 Sliced Red Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Green Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Yellow Bell Peppers

2 Sliced Orange Bell Peppers

2 Tablespoons Butter

1 Tablespoon Blackened Red Fish Magic (Available in most Kroger spice aisles)

1 Tablespoon Garlic Powder

1 Tablespoon Onion Powder

1 Teaspoon Black Pepper

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1/2 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

1/4 Teaspoon Thyme

Here's What you'll do:

1. Combine all ingredients except Chicken, Sausage, Peppers, Butter, and Shrimp in a large stock pot .
2. Place over Medium heat and bring to a boil.
3. Immediately reduce heat to a low simmer.
4. Simmer for 3-4 hours stirring every few minutes, vegetables should have liquified.
5. If sauce has any chunks liquify in a Blender or Food Processor and return to heat.
6. In a medium frying pan combine the Butter, Sausage, Peppers, and Chicken Breast and cook until meat is nearly finished cooking.
7. Add Shrimp to frying pan, cook until Shrimp is completely cooked through. (Core Temperature of 145 Degrees Fahrenheit.)
8. Strain Contents of frying pan and add to sauce in stock pot.
9. Continue to simmer over low heat for 30 minutes.
10. Serve over Rice, Noodles, or even all by itself.

Wasabenero Sauce

     Indulgently sweet with a powerful spicy kick this sauce is great on anything from chicken fingers to vanilla ice cream.

Here's what you'll need:
1 Cup Corn Syrup (and 1/4 Cup reserved)
2 Ounces Minced Habenero Peppers (About 4 medium sized peppers.)
4 Tablespoons White Vinegar (And 1/4 cup reserved)
1 Tablespoon Ground Horseradish
1 Tablespoon S&B Prepared Wasabi(It's in a little green tube, available at Wal-Mart's Asian Foods section)
1/2 Teaspoon Flour
1/4 Teaspoon Cornstarch

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine Habero Peppers, and Vinegar in a small saucepan and bring to a boil.
2. Immediately add Horseradish and Wasabi and return to boil for 30 seconds.
3. Add Corn Syrup and reduce heat. Mix reserved Vinegar, Corn Syrup, Flour, and Cornstarch in a separate bowl to make a thickener.
4. Cook for 4 minutes, stirring constantly.
5.  Pour mixture into a Food Processor and run on Highest setting for 1 minute.
6. Add thickener and return to pan.
7. Heat mixture to a boil over Medium Heat, stirring constantly.
8. Remove from heat when mixture reaches the consistency of chocolate syrup and has a bright but transparent green color. 
9. Cool and serve as an accompaniment to, well, a whole lot of things, experiment and enjoy.

Burgundy Black Pepper Glaze

     Rich, savory, and just slightly spicy, this is the perfect accompaniment to any steak or roast, adding a surprising depth of flavor.

Here's what you'll need:
1/2 Cup of Burgundy
1/2 Cup of Water
1 Tablespoon of Beef Base (Bullion works almost as well)
1 Tablespoon Corn Starch
1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
1 Teaspoon Garlic Powder

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine all ingredients in a Medium Saucepan and whisk together thoroughly.
2. Place over medium heat until sauce thickens to the consistency of pancake syrup.
3. Remove from heat and brush lightly over meat, just a little goes a long way.
4. Use sauce immediately as it doesn't refrigerate well.

     If Chicken or Turkey are more your thing, try our BlackPepper Cranberry Glaze.

Unstable Element Sauce

     Only make this sauce in a well ventilated area, wear protective eye-wear, and strongly consider the use of a gas mask or other respiratory filter while making it. I'm not joking.

Here's what you'll need:
3 Cups Franks Red Hot Sauce
1 Cup White Vinegar
1 Cup Pickled Jalapeno Peppers with Juice (Minced)
10 Small Habenero Peppers (Minced)
5 Red Chili Peppers (Minced)
5 Green Chili Peppers (Minced)
2 Tablespoons Cayenne Pepper
4 Teaspoons Black Pepper
2 Teaspoons Ancho Chili Powder
2 Teaspoon Cinnamon

Here's what you'll do:

1. Combine the Franks Red Hot Sauce, Vinegar, and minced Peppers in a Medium Saucepan over medium heat and boil until the Peppers are soft.
2. Pour mixture into food processor or blender and run on highest setting for 1-3 minutes, until it reaches a smooth consistency. (Wash Blender of Foodprocessor immediately!)
3. Return mixture to saucepan and add all spices.
4. Return to a boil stirring occasionally for 8-10 minutes.
5. Remove pan from heat and allow sauce to cool before placing in a glass or plastic container, not metal, seriously, this sauce will slowly corrode the metal and start tasting funky. Keep sauce refrigerated, and away from children and pets.
6. Enjoy on Chicken Wings, Burgers, Pork Chops, or anything (if you're a masochist.)
7. If you like pickled eggs try dropping 12 Hard Boiled Eggs into this sauce and allow to set for between 1 week and 3 months, after eating these eggs may be another good time to consider having a gas mask handy.