Berry Blast Cheesecake (No-Bake Recipe)

     There are two kinds of cheesecake, excellent, and even more excellent. A plain cheesecake, whether baked, or no-bake is an indulgent delight, melting on the tongue and sending your spirit soaring like a bird on wing. This recipe takes those hall mark traits and adds the subtle joy of a summer day spent berry picking, so, you know, Fuck Yeah!

Here's What You'll Need: For the Berry Sauce
1/2 Cup Raspberries
1/4 Cup Blackberries
2 Tablespoons Blackberry Preserves
2 Tablespoons Powdered Sugar
2 Tablespoons Cornstarch

Here's What You'll Do: For the Berry Sauce

1. Put everything in a blender or food processor
2. Blend on high until smooth and glossy

Here's What You'll Need: For the Cheesecake
16 Ounces of Cream Cheese (At Room Temperature)
8 Ounces of Cool Whip
1 Cup Powdered Sugar
3/4 Cup Corn Starch
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

Here's What You'll Do: For the Cheesecake
1. Combine all of your wet ingredients on a large bowl and mix until smooth and creamy. (I recommend a mixer for this, but you're free to develop Carpal Tunnel if that's what you're into...)
2. Slowly add your dry ingredients until the mixture reaches a thick enough consistency that when you pull the beaters out it forms stiff peaks, like tasty little mountain ranges.
3. Pour half of your Berry Sauce into the mixture and gently fold in until it is mostly combined but still has the occasional swirl.
4.Using a spatula  transfer the mixture into a Graham Cracker or Cookie Crust and cover with plastic wrap.
5. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to allow mixture to set.
6. Slice.
7. Drizzle each slice with a little of the remaining Berry Sauce, possibly garnishing with left over Berries or shiny foil wrapped candies that provide color contrast for the pictures you will randomly be taking.
8. Enjoy... like I have to tell you to enjoy Cheesecake...

Graham Cracker or Cookie Crust

     Pie crust can be a make it or break it factor when you want to really impress someone with your culinary expertise, but that doesn't mean it has to be difficult. A little, and I mean a VERY little work, and some forethought are all it takes to turn an ordinary Pie or Cheesecake into something that gets trumpets played when you enter a room. And here's how: once you decide what king of pie you want to make really consider the crust for a few minutes. A traditional fruit pie is usually best suited to a traditional crust, there are a million places to find recipes for traditional crust, so I won't bore you with it here. But chocolate pies, cream pies, anything outside the narrow mold of the traditional deserves a little something extra. That's where Graham Cracker and Cookie crusts come in, they add a flavorful base to showcase the wonders of your pie. Think of the overall layout of flavors you're trying to build, does your big bold filling require a big bold crust to balance it out, or does it need a more subtle pairing to showcase its power? Once you've decided that peruse your local grocers cookie aisle, or if you are an obsessed baker with cookies on hand *tries whistling non-chalantly* decide which option best suits. Oh, and one caveat, steer away from any cookie that has chocolate chips, or little candies of any sort in them, the candy will melt to your pan and make the crust fall all to Hell when you try to serve your pie. Then it's on to the extremely easy part, making the crust.

Here's What You'll Need:

1 1/2 or 2 Cups of thoroughly crushed Graham Crackers or Cookies (Crushed BEFORE you measure.)
4 Tablespoons of Melted Butter

Here's What You'll Do:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit
2. Mix both of your ingredients until fully moistened.
3. Press mixture evenly into the bottom of a pie pan, or spring form cake pan.
4. Bake for 5 minutes.
5. Allow to cool.
6. That's it.
7. No more instructions.