Berry Blast Cheesecake (No-Bake Recipe)

     There are two kinds of cheesecake, excellent, and even more excellent. A plain cheesecake, whether baked, or no-bake is an indulgent delight, melting on the tongue and sending your spirit soaring like a bird on wing. This recipe takes those hall mark traits and adds the subtle joy of a summer day spent berry picking, so, you know, Fuck Yeah!

Here's What You'll Need: For the Berry Sauce
1/2 Cup Raspberries
1/4 Cup Blackberries
2 Tablespoons Blackberry Preserves
2 Tablespoons Powdered Sugar
2 Tablespoons Cornstarch

Here's What You'll Do: For the Berry Sauce

1. Put everything in a blender or food processor
2. Blend on high until smooth and glossy

Here's What You'll Need: For the Cheesecake
16 Ounces of Cream Cheese (At Room Temperature)
8 Ounces of Cool Whip
1 Cup Powdered Sugar
3/4 Cup Corn Starch
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

Here's What You'll Do: For the Cheesecake
1. Combine all of your wet ingredients on a large bowl and mix until smooth and creamy. (I recommend a mixer for this, but you're free to develop Carpal Tunnel if that's what you're into...)
2. Slowly add your dry ingredients until the mixture reaches a thick enough consistency that when you pull the beaters out it forms stiff peaks, like tasty little mountain ranges.
3. Pour half of your Berry Sauce into the mixture and gently fold in until it is mostly combined but still has the occasional swirl.
4.Using a spatula  transfer the mixture into a Graham Cracker or Cookie Crust and cover with plastic wrap.
5. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to allow mixture to set.
6. Slice.
7. Drizzle each slice with a little of the remaining Berry Sauce, possibly garnishing with left over Berries or shiny foil wrapped candies that provide color contrast for the pictures you will randomly be taking.
8. Enjoy... like I have to tell you to enjoy Cheesecake...

Mochanut Pie

     Chocolate, Coffee, Coconut, Crust, four C's worth sailing in my opinion, if you care about my opinion. Better yet if you can take them all in one trip to tantalize the taste buds and titillate the tongue, and my Mochanut Pie is just the ship to sail you there .

Here's What You'll Need:

3 Cups Heavy Cream (1 Cup Reserved)
1/2 Sugar
1/2 Cup Toasted Coconut (Reserved)
1/2 cup Chocolate Syrup
3 Packets Hot Cocoa Mix
8 Tablespoons cornstarch (Reserved)
3 Tablespoons Instant Coffee (This is optional, but it's exclusion would make it a Choconut Pie, you can't have Mocha without Coffee.)
1 Graham Cracker or Cookie Crust (Store bought also works)

Here's What You'll Do:

1. Mix all ingredients except those reserved in a medium sauce pan and place over medium heat, stirring frequently.
2. In a small bowl mix reserved Heavy Cream and Cornstarch until fully integrated. Make certain your crust is sitting nearby.
3. When the contents of the sauce pan reach a boil add the Cream and Cornstarch mixture and whisk as though your life depends on it until the mixture is the consistency of thick pudding.
4. Pour immediately into your crust.
5. Sprinkle Toasted Coconut over the top of the pie and gently press down to insure that the Coconut sticks to the surface of the filling.
6. Allow to cool for 30-60 minutes, until the filling is warm, but not hot, then wrap in plastic wrap and chill in the fridge for at least 8 hours.
7. Cut into no fewer than 6 pieces ( Okay, this is really your call, but this pie is extremely heavy and rich, if you cut it in quarters you might as well schedule in a  delightful Chocolate Coma Time afterwards.)
8. Enjoy!

(Bonus Points: Sliced Almonds, Pecans, Peanuts, Chocolate Chips(you masochist), crumbled Oreo's, all make excellent additions in Step 5, or even Chopped Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans if you want to make people fawn over you and leave you uncomfortably intimate Thank You letters.)