On the Topic of: Seasoning Part 2

     Herbs and Spices have become such a major factor in my life that I can't help but come back for a second rant of their importance.  If you remember On the Topic of: Seasoning Part 1 you'll recall I left a few tips for you, and if you followed them your life has probably been a lot tastier lately. But to take it further you'll need to understand a little bit more about what you're actually working with, what magic it is that is contained in the mysterious powders you've been sprinkling over your food (Spices that is, if you are dosing your food with some other magic powders you're on your own with that, ya junkie.)
     First it's important to understand the differences between what determines if something is an Herb or a Spice .It all boils down to three things, location, location, location. The location specifically of the volatile oils that give Herbs and Spices their flavor packed punch. If you pull a Jed Clampett on the leaves it's an Herb, if you strike oil anywhere else on the plant it's a spice.
     Now that we know what Herbs and Spices are, let's discuss what makes the oils they contain 'volatile'. Are they poisonous or reactive with the skin, practically never, though a few examples like Mustard, Mace, and the Capsaicin located in Hot Peppers like Jalapenos can get a little rowdy when exposed to your more delicate tissues. So if that's not it, do they beat their spouses after a few too many Jager-Bombs? No, that's a stupid question and you should feel bad for thinking it. They are considered volatile oils because they evaporate so quickly, a pre-ground spice starts to rapidly lose flavor at about six months old (most of which may have already been spent in a warehouse, on a truck, or sitting on a shelf at the store before you ever get ahold of it. Whole Spices however, have a much longer shelf life, between one and four years if properly stored.
     "Whole spices, " you might ask in disbelief, "How am I supposed to use those?"
     There are two simple methods, the first has a very minor expense in the form of reusable cloth spice bags available at most spice retailers, such as North Market Spices. Just throw the spice in the bags and drop them into any liquid you happen to have on the boil. Of course, that doesn't help much with a fry, bake, broil, or sautee situation. The second method is a bit more costly but more useful in general terms. Buy something to grind spices with, from the old fashioned mortar and pestle to a cheap coffee grinder that will run even the toughest seeds and barks to powder in a few quick pulses.
     Remember what I said about using new spices carefully at first, the same can be said of using familiar spices when you first start grinding your own since their potency will be dramatically higher. Flavors you never knew existed might just come oozing out, having long since dissipated in the factory processed elderly saw dust they call Spices at the local mega mart.
     So, where do you get all these whole spices from, if not the grocery store? Well, Spices Ltd. at The North Market has a pretty tremendous selection at great prices, and their owner Ben is sort of a Spice Guru, so that is a definite option. But if you're a bit far from the market, feeling lazy, or just a shut in you can always buy from a reputable online spice vendor such as My Spice Sage who will deliver right to your mailbox, with no shipping charges if you are spending at least $20. They even have deals where they send you bonus spices with every order, even pricey stuff like Saffron or Madagascar Vanilla Beans.
     So, yeah, there is some stuff you may not have known about spices, and a few tips that might make things a little less bland in the mouthal regions of your life.
   

Shawarma Seasoning

Chicken Shawarma with Hangry Girl Hummus, Tomatoes, and Fresh Spinach

     Shawarma is a fantastic blend of spices and the grilled meats prepared with it native to the middle east. Delicious on Chicken, Beef, Pork, Lamb, or Goat, it is a luscious and rich mixture with tremendous depth and vibrancy. Mix it to taste with and pan fried or grilled meat and slap that shit on a pita with everything, you'll be happy you did.

Here's What You'll Need:

1 Table spoon Cumin Seed *

1 Tablespoon Coriander Seed*

1 Tablespoon Garlic Powder

1 Tablespoon Ground Cardamom

1/2 Tablespoon Paprika

2 Teaspoons Sumac

2 Teaspoons Salt

1 Teaspoon Turmeric

1 Teaspoon Whole Black Peppercorns*

1/2 Teaspoon Whole Cloves*

3 Dried Piri Piri Peppers*

1 Cinnamon Stick 1 inch long *

Here's What You'll Do:

1. Take all of the ingredients marked with an asterisk and grind them finely in a coffee or spice grinder.

2. Combine your fresh ground Spices with your pre-ground Spices, mixing thoroughly.

3. Season the fuck out of everything you eat for the rest of your life. 

Restaurant Review: Ringside Cafe

     Ringside Cafe is a historical landmark in Columbus' Culinary landscape, there are piles of interesting historical footnotes and oodles of atmosphere to the place, you can feel the ghosts of diners past crowding the small but quaint space, but that isn't what this blog cares fuck all about. I'm here for the food.
     The menu is a scant sixteen items, all of which are prepared from high quality ingredients in time honored and well honed methods, that don't mean a damn thing when the cooks don't bother to season anything. Top quality beef burgers grilled over an open flame? Still bland without Salt. Beer Battered Onion Rings fried golden brown in good oil? Still bland without Salt. Flame Grilled Portabella Mushroom with all the fixin's on a nice Rosemary Focaccia? STILL bland without the Salt.
     I am left in a quandary over how to rate this place, the whole experience was highly satisfying, the atmosphere was fun and heavy with the weight of the pleasure of generations before us, the food was all made from the kinds of ingredients I try to use at home when money allows, but, for fucks sake, no Salt and Pepper?


Final Ranking: B (I'm going to wait a couple months and go back, hopefully they were just having some issues when we went....)

Restaurant Review: Khyber Halal

     Located across Georgesville Road from the sprawling Hollywood Casino complex, tucked unobtrusively behind a Sunoco station, in a broken down three store shopping plaza, lies what might be the finest Middle-Eastern restaurant in Columbus. The small staff is friendly and attentive, and emphasize explaining what goes into their food and how it's made. The premises in front aren't the cleanest I've ever encountered, but their kitchen is spotless, and their equipment is well maintained. As of last Wednesday I've had almost everything on their menu and it has all been fantastic, fresh, well seasoned, and with delicious accompanying sauces. I feel it's important to mention that they have a real honest to goodness Tandoor on premises to make their Chicken Tandoori and their Naan. Not to mention, they have an attached store that sells a lot of what you need to delve into the exotic and wonderful world of Middle-Eastern cuisine in your own home.

Final Ranking:  A+ (Make a special trip to try this place, or take a few minutes out of your casino trip to go, either way you're in for something wonderful.)

Restaurant Review: Tai's Asian Bistro

    So, it's finally happened. I got sick somewhere, like, I went to the Half Price Books about thirty seconds down the street and within five minutes I was setting up a colony in their restroom. It ruined my night, and despite beautiful presentation, the food wasn't that good to begin with, it was probably a 7/10.

Final Ranking: F- (Sorry Tai, but I can't let food born illness slide.)

Restaurant Review: Food India

     Perched unassumingly across Broad Street from Doctors Hospital, Food India is a ruby in the rough. Their premises is.... unassuming, to say the least. Given twelve hours and twelve sets of shelves I could easily turn it into a corner store, a carry out, or a sad little shoe store. It doesn't look like a place that you can pick up an AMAZING curry, and, well, it isn't. The food isn't bad, in fact, it's pretty good. It just lacked any sort of 'Wow' factor. The portions sizes were generous, and the prices were fair, unfortunately I think the food might just be too authentic for my Americanized palette. I was warned by the friendly young man at the counter that the Lamb Masala was super spicy, and I asked for it to be extra spicy, but instead of the sweat dripping, tongue blistering, visions of my ancestors giving me guidance from beyond the grave experience that I was searching for, I got a mild/medium spiced pretty good curry. I wanted to transcend my body, surfing on waves of pain and glory surging from my tongue. What I got was... not what I wanted. But, perfectly fair, all things considered...


Final Ranking: B-

These Delays

Are out of hand, I know. But the overtime train at work is still chugging along. Y'all deserve better, and I'll do my best to start rocking some new content as soon as possible.

New Job Causes Delays in Posting

     Sorry I haven't been posting lately folks, I just started a new job at a brand new, VERY big name establishment on the West side and things have been absolutely crazy. I've been working 60-70 hour weeks and have just been too wiped out to get anything written up, but I've still been experimenting in the kitchen, so as soon as I have some free time I'll be dropping a few things for y'all, like a spicy pumpkin cheesecake for the holidays.

So Long Sweet Summer Sipper

     Summer is drawing to a close, the days are getting shorter, the nights longer, and fruit prices are starting to slide upwards as things begin to go out of season. It sucks, but unless you live in the tropics the best you can do about it is to try to catch a last deep breath of sun parched air and wash it down with this light, refreshing iced tea.

Here's What You'll Need:

4 Ounces (by weight) of Hibiscus Flowers (available at most Hispanic Grocers as Jamaica Flowers)
1 Gallon + 2 Cups of Water
2 Ripe Mangoes
1 Cup Sugar
2 Tablespoons Lemon Juice
Fresh Fruit Pieces for Garnish (I used Pineapple, you might like Oranges, Lemons, Limes, or Strawberries)

Here's What You'll Do:

1. Cut up your Mango (That video will show you how, if you can tolerate the guys voice,) and put it in a blender with 1/4 cup of Sugar, 2 Cups of Water, and 2 Tablespoons of Lemon Juice.
2. Run on high until it reaches a really smooth consistency, which will never, ever happen, if your mango isn't ripe.
3. Pour your Mango awesome sauce (not an official name mind you,) into some ice trays and freeze (this will be approximately 2 trays, depending on what size cubes you usually make.)
4. Cover with plastic wrap and freeze.
5. Put your Hibiscus Flowers in 1 Quart of water and brin to a boil, then shut off the heat and allow to rest for 5 minutes, or until the corner of a paper towel dipped in the water looks like the time you forgot a red sock in the wash with your tighty whiteys.)
6. Strain out the Flowers and stir in your remaining sugar.
7. Once your sugar is dissolved, add the rest of your water. (Probably in a pitcher, but I suppose a punch bowl, bucket, or maybe even a really patient Pelicans mouth would work. )
8. Put it in the refrigerator until nicely chilled.
9. Pour into a nice looking glass, drop in a couple of your Mango Ice Cubes, and dress the glass up with some fancy looking fruit pieces, maybe an umbrella, or a swirly straw, I don't know, damn, do you want me to drink it for you too? Cause I will... Please?
10. Fine, you drink it. I hope it makes you happy. Jerk.

Bonus Points: If you want to send Summer out with a real bang (and if you're over 21) maybe consider adding a shot each of Bacardi O, and Bacardi Razz.

Restaurant Review: Da Levee

     I've never been to Bourbon Street, hell, I've never been further South than Pittsburgh. I've cruised all around the North Eastern United States, and even dipped my toe into Canada (it took me forever to get the Maple Syrup off.) But, like everyone else who has had much to do with (watching) television or movies in their life, I have an idea of what a visit to New Orleans should be. Dark cramped spaces alive with the colors of Mardi Gras and Jazz, a rich spicy air should be blowing around, and you could almost picture Old Scratch himself leaving off of his dealings to grab a bit of gumbo.
     While I've never managed to go to the REAL New Orleans, Da Levee on High Street is certainly a portal to a little locals only joint just past the camera's reach in Interview with the Vampire. The environment of the place is... seductive I guess, you can imagine looking up from your B&B only to lock eyes with an attractive stranger (this sort of happened to me, only I knew Mary before hand, and we were there for our anniversary, but you get the point.)
     The menu doesn't contain any main courses, just side dishes, desserts, drinks, and plate pricing. Main courses are done as daily specials written on a black board and posted on Facebook and Twitter where hungry fans impatiently await a day when one of their favorites rises to the surface of it's owner, Justin Boehme's, mind and explodes into his kitchen.
     Normally I set a two visit minimum before a review, but most places have a large set menu and a two visit minimum ensures I try at least four dishes, between what Mary and I ordered. That wasn't an issue at Da Levee, where for just $8 you can get a Half and Half plate and try two different dinner options over rice. What we ended up having doesn't even matter, except to say we each got a meat option and a vegetarian option, and everything was delicious. Better than just delicious, it was delicious AND inexpensive. Two Half and Half Plates, soft drinks, and a piece of 'Purple Love'(Blueberry Cream with White Chocolate)pie to split only totaled $24.

Final Grade: A+ (Great Food, Great Prices, Great Atmosphere, and service that went above and beyond. I accidentally committed one of the great restaurant taboo's by accident by going in right as they were closing and nobody put glass in my food. Seriously, don't go into a closing restaurant, it is a total dick move and I hope I bring Da Levee some extra business with this review to make up for it.)