Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Ginger Binge


     I love ginger, its savory and spicy, but plays so very well with sweet. I love every succulent thing about Ginger, its flavor, it's aroma, it's weird knobbly alien claw shape. I love Ginger so much I even got a Ginger roommate, even if his creepy soulless stare keeps me up at night.

Here's What You'll Need:
2 Tablespoons Crystallized Ginger
2 Tablespoons Granulated Sugar
1 Fresh Knob of Ginger, peeled and slightly bruised

9 fl Ounces of Apple Juice
9 fl Ounces of Canada Dry Ginger Ale
6 fl Ounces Stirrings Ginger Liquor (available at Krogers)

Here's What You'll Do:
1. Mix the Apple Juice and Ginger Liquor  in a pitcher and chill.
2. Chill your Ginger Ale
3. Use a coffee grinder, spice grinder, blender, food processor, or your cousins braces to thoroughly grind the Crystallized Ginger together with the Sugar to make Ginger Sugar.
4. Rub the rims of three tumblers with the ginger root to moisten them and dip them in your Ginger Sugar.
5. Pour 3 fl Ounces of Ginger Ale into each tumbler, followed by 5 fl Ounces of your Ginger Liquor, Apple Juice Mixture.
6. Smell it... Oh, sooo sexy.
7. Drink it.... Burns sooo good.

Bonus Points:
1. As above, but pour it all into one, much larger glass and don't share it.
2. Try grating a little fresh Nutmeg into your Ginger Liquor, Apple Juice Mixture before you chill it. Nutmeg and Ginger are B.F.F.'s 4E.
3. Make a little rose out of Pickled Ginger to go with each glass and serve them on a tray, have your guests drop the rose into their drink before consuming. It's tasty, fun, and adds a little bit of flashy ceremony.

Friday, May 17, 2013

From Across the Web #3

     Ever wonder what the big deal is with Extra Virgin Olive Oil? Why it's so pricey, why is it so special, and is it really worth it? Check Here to find out more.

     Have a weird obsession with the host of Good Eats? Good, you should, A.B. is awesome. Check out this fan site.

     People without Gluten allergies or Celiacs Disease who switch to a Gluten free diet are idiots, but baking without flour isn't stupid, it makes for interesting challenges and if you can conquer them, delicious results.

     There you stand, covered in the blood of your foes(or maybe a cow or chicken), watching the oncoming hordes with their ravenous hunger(probably your spouse and kids), looking down at your favorite pan do you feel well armed for what is to come? Well, if you have let the fine folks at Morlock Enterprises arm you with a  Fighting Mans Frying Pan I'm sure you do.

Monday, May 13, 2013

On the Topic of: Seasoning Part 2

     Herbs and Spices have become such a major factor in my life that I can't help but come back for a second rant of their importance.  If you remember On the Topic of: Seasoning Part 1 you'll recall I left a few tips for you, and if you followed them your life has probably been a lot tastier lately. But to take it further you'll need to understand a little bit more about what you're actually working with, what magic it is that is contained in the mysterious powders you've been sprinkling over your food (Spices that is, if you are dosing your food with some other magic powders you're on your own with that, ya junkie.)
     First it's important to understand the differences between what determines if something is an Herb or a Spice .It all boils down to three things, location, location, location. The location specifically of the volatile oils that give Herbs and Spices their flavor packed punch. If you pull a Jed Clampett on the leaves it's an Herb, if you strike oil anywhere else on the plant it's a spice.
     Now that we know what Herbs and Spices are, let's discuss what makes the oils they contain 'volatile'. Are they poisonous or reactive with the skin, practically never, though a few examples like Mustard, Mace, and the Capsaicin located in Hot Peppers like Jalapenos can get a little rowdy when exposed to your more delicate tissues. So if that's not it, do they beat their spouses after a few too many Jager-Bombs? No, that's a stupid question and you should feel bad for thinking it. They are considered volatile oils because they evaporate so quickly, a pre-ground spice starts to rapidly lose flavor at about six months old (most of which may have already been spent in a warehouse, on a truck, or sitting on a shelf at the store before you ever get ahold of it. Whole Spices however, have a much longer shelf life, between one and four years if properly stored.
     "Whole spices, " you might ask in disbelief, "How am I supposed to use those?"
     There are two simple methods, the first has a very minor expense in the form of reusable cloth spice bags available at most spice retailers, such as North Market Spices. Just throw the spice in the bags and drop them into any liquid you happen to have on the boil. Of course, that doesn't help much with a fry, bake, broil, or sautee situation. The second method is a bit more costly but more useful in general terms. Buy something to grind spices with, from the old fashioned mortar and pestle to a cheap coffee grinder that will run even the toughest seeds and barks to powder in a few quick pulses.
     Remember what I said about using new spices carefully at first, the same can be said of using familiar spices when you first start grinding your own since their potency will be dramatically higher. Flavors you never knew existed might just come oozing out, having long since dissipated in the factory processed elderly saw dust they call Spices at the local mega mart.
     So, where do you get all these whole spices from, if not the grocery store? Well, Spices Ltd. at The North Market has a pretty tremendous selection at great prices, and their owner Ben is sort of a Spice Guru, so that is a definite option. But if you're a bit far from the market, feeling lazy, or just a shut in you can always buy from a reputable online spice vendor such as My Spice Sage who will deliver right to your mailbox, with no shipping charges if you are spending at least $20. They even have deals where they send you bonus spices with every order, even pricey stuff like Saffron or Madagascar Vanilla Beans.
     So, yeah, there is some stuff you may not have known about spices, and a few tips that might make things a little less bland in the mouthal regions of your life.
   

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Shawarma Seasoning

Chicken Shawarma with Hangry Girl Hummus, Tomatoes, and Fresh Spinach

     Shawarma is a fantastic blend of spices and the grilled meats prepared with it native to the middle east. Delicious on Chicken, Beef, Pork, Lamb, or Goat, it is a luscious and rich mixture with tremendous depth and vibrancy. Mix it to taste with and pan fried or grilled meat and slap that shit on a pita with everything, you'll be happy you did.

Here's What You'll Need:
1 Table spoon Cumin Seed *
1 Tablespoon Coriander Seed*
1 Tablespoon Garlic Powder
1 Tablespoon Ground Cardamom
1/2 Tablespoon Paprika
2 Teaspoons Sumac
2 Teaspoons Salt
1 Teaspoon Turmeric
1 Teaspoon Whole Black Peppercorns*
1/2 Teaspoon Whole Cloves*
3 Dried Piri Piri Peppers*
1 Cinnamon Stick 1 inch long *

Here's What You'll Do:

1. Take all of the ingredients marked with an asterisk and grind them finely in a coffee or spice grinder.
2. Combine your fresh ground Spices with your pre-ground Spices, mixing thoroughly.
3. Season the fuck out of everything you eat for the rest of your life. 


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Restaurant Review: Ringside Cafe



     Ringside Cafe is a historical landmark in Columbus' Culinary landscape, there are piles of interesting historical footnotes and oodles of atmosphere to the place, you can feel the ghosts of diners past crowding the small but quaint space, but that isn't what this blog cares fuck all about. I'm here for the food.
     The menu is a scant sixteen items, all of which are prepared from high quality ingredients in time honored and well honed methods, that don't mean a damn thing when the cooks don't bother to season anything. Top quality beef burgers grilled over an open flame? Still bland without Salt. Beer Battered Onion Rings fried golden brown in good oil? Still bland without Salt. Flame Grilled Portabella Mushroom with all the fixin's on a nice Rosemary Focaccia? STILL bland without the Salt.
     I am left in a quandary over how to rate this place, the whole experience was highly satisfying, the atmosphere was fun and heavy with the weight of the pleasure of generations before us, the food was all made from the kinds of ingredients I try to use at home when money allows, but, for fucks sake, no Salt and Pepper?


Final Ranking: B (I'm going to wait a couple months and go back, hopefully they were just having some issues when we went....)




Monday, February 18, 2013

Restaurant Review: Khyber Halal


     Located across Georgesville Road from the sprawling Hollywood Casino complex, tucked unobtrusively behind a Sunoco station, in a broken down three store shopping plaza, lies what might be the finest Middle-Eastern restaurant in Columbus. The small staff is friendly and attentive, and emphasize explaining what goes into their food and how it's made. The premises in front aren't the cleanest I've ever encountered, but their kitchen is spotless, and their equipment is well maintained. As of last Wednesday I've had almost everything on their menu and it has all been fantastic, fresh, well seasoned, and with delicious accompanying sauces. I feel it's important to mention that they have a real honest to goodness Tandoor on premises to make their Chicken Tandoori and their Naan. Not to mention, they have an attached store that sells a lot of what you need to delve into the exotic and wonderful world of Middle-Eastern cuisine in your own home.

Final Ranking:  A+ (Make a special trip to try this place, or take a few minutes out of your casino trip to go, either way you're in for something wonderful.)

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Restaurant Review: Tai's Asian Bistro



    So, it's finally happened. I got sick somewhere, like, I went to the Half Price Books about thirty seconds down the street and within five minutes I was setting up a colony in their restroom. It ruined my night, and despite beautiful presentation, the food wasn't that good to begin with, it was probably a 7/10.

Final Ranking: F- (Sorry Tai, but I can't let food born illness slide.)

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Restaurant Review: Food India



     Perched unassumingly across Broad Street from Doctors Hospital, Food India is a ruby in the rough. Their premises is.... unassuming, to say the least. Given twelve hours and twelve sets of shelves I could easily turn it into a corner store, a carry out, or a sad little shoe store. It doesn't look like a place that you can pick up an AMAZING curry, and, well, it isn't. The food isn't bad, in fact, it's pretty good. It just lacked any sort of 'Wow' factor. The portions sizes were generous, and the prices were fair, unfortunately I think the food might just be too authentic for my Americanized palette. I was warned by the friendly young man at the counter that the Lamb Masala was super spicy, and I asked for it to be extra spicy, but instead of the sweat dripping, tongue blistering, visions of my ancestors giving me guidance from beyond the grave experience that I was searching for, I got a mild/medium spiced pretty good curry. I wanted to transcend my body, surfing on waves of pain and glory surging from my tongue. What I got was... not what I wanted. But, perfectly fair, all things considered...


Final Ranking: B-